[GlennM]

Started a new thread for true and funny/humorous stories regarding PTL, HSEC, or Heritage, because you had to be there, and where else are you going to tell them?

A "Beezy" Sermon

It was a summer Sunday Morning church service in the Barn. I'm not sure the occasion, but it was special as it was being taped, and Jim had called in all the staff, orchestra and choir. The Barn was full and the service was proceeding as usual. The Orchestra was behind Jim's left, and the choir behind his right. We were just about finishing the song before the sermon, when I noticed a rather large bee had gotten into the auditorium and was flying around the choir. The music ended, we sat down, and as Jim started to preach, others in the choir also began to notice the bee. As you would expect, some people did not like bees. As the bee drew near to the choir, you would see choir members start to squirm and try to move out of its way, without drawing attention from the congregation. However the service was being taped, Jim was speaking, and there was no place to go.
By this time, the Orchestra members were nudging each other to watch the bee, and enjoying the bee's tormenting the choir. As the bee flew its reconnaissance missions, the band and the choir became more focused on the bee, and all attention to Jim or his sermon vanished. At some point to the choir's delight, the bee decided to increase its mission to include the orchestra. While the band was enjoying the bee torment the choir, it did not want to deal with it. As the bee approached the band, you could see eyes light up, especially those of one trombonist, who vainly tried to swish it away with the slide of his trombone. The bee seemed to be enjoying the process, and started flying back and forth like a game of badminton. Watching this process unfold became amusing to several of us, as we were pinching ourselves and inflicting pain on ourselves, so as not to burst out laughing in the middle of Jim's solemn service. Fortunately, the bee kept its distance, Jim ended his service, and to this point is hopefully remembered only by those in the band and choir.

[HeritageLt]

The soundman caper

I sort of got to set this up. The Bakkers had been out of town and just returned on a Sunday morning. Any new staff that worked around the Bakkers had to be introducted to the security team assigned to the protective detail. We had a new soundman that was being trained that morning and he was sitting up in the sound booth in the Barn. Church had already started and the Bakkers were being driven in from the airport. They arrived just a few minutes before Jim was to speak. The usual seat had been saved for Hardister (which was just off stage with a view of the stage and first few rows). That's when I realized that Hardister had not been informed of the new soundman. The regular security guys (thats me I had just started working) and the executive protection guys (thats Hardister) are on separate radio channels. They can call us but we were not allowed to call them. I'm thinking oh well no big deal. Wrong! About 10 minutes into the sermon the microphone Jim is using starts to act up. The normal soundman gives the new soundman batteries and tells him to go put them in Jim's mic. He is suppose to go back stage where he will be greeted by one of the executive security guys who will in turn take him to Hardister who will in turn get Jim's attention and get the battery changed. But to my horror he walks right around to the front of the stage. Hardister catches this guy out of the corner of his eye and locks in on him. It appears to Hardister that this guy is carrying some type of edged weapon in his right hand. He stands up. By this time I'm making a ***dle on the floor because I know what is about to happen. Hardister watches the guy go by Gaskin, Jens, and then Hall (all these exec guys know who the new soundman is) and as the new soundman starts up the stairs on the side of the stage Hardister bolts in front of him and says loud enough for folks on the front row to hear "take one more step I will kill you right here in front of these people". By that time the normal sound guy had seen what was going on and ran to the stage before anything real bad happened. During all this Jim never missed a beat. He did say you may have seen my security react to a perceived threat. Everybody kind of laughed and the service went on. Not too funny then but we all got a good laugh later. Everybody but the new soundman that is. He was real sensitive about that story as long as I knew him.

[HeritageLt]

Oh boy! In trouble again. Seems a few of the players have taken exception to my memory of this event. Hum............I think what Hardister actually said was "take one more step and I'll tickle you until you cry for your mommy". Yeah my memory is getting better as I type. Sorry for any confusion. My mistake.

[Rick4404]

Originally Posted by HeritageLt

Oh boy! In trouble again. Seems a few of the players have taken exception to my memory of this event. Hum............I think what Hardister actually said was "take one more step and I'll tickle you until you cry for your mommy". Yeah my memory is getting better as I type. Sorry for any confusion. My mistake.

Thanks for the humorous stories. I have developed an e-mail friendship with Don Hardister via the Yahoo groups. I suppose there's lots of stuff that happened there at Heritage USA and PTL which the general public was never made aware of. Matters that were privileged for one reason or another. I suppose after that exchange with Hardister, the young sound technician probably wanted to quietly walk out the back door. I can understand the sense of urgency relative to security matters.

I liked the bee story. My wife and I sing in our church choir, so that story got us to chuckling too.

Hmmm...notice how our friend Lady Star has chosen not to chime in regarding your anecdotes? I suppose her brain at this very moment is hatching one of her classic Lady Star responses. We'll soon see, I suppose.

[HeritageLt]

There are many many stories that staff have. I wish they would post them. I've tried to keep this thing alive hoping others would jump in. Don't understand why it is so hard to get them to post stuff. One of the funniest for me were the water balloon wars. Roger Flessing started them by throwing off the top of the WOC building. He would wait for Hardister to bring Bakker to the building and then the fun would begin. You can't believe how mad DH would get. And of course with RF that just fueled the fire. DH and JB started getting out of the car with umbrellas. I remember one day JB sent DH out to the car to retrieve something he had purposely left behind and he and RF let him have it from the top. He looked like a wet noodle and whipped puppy at the same time. The guys in TV were the worst and could get away with anything. They would often film their pranks and would show them during our once a year staff meeting.

[The Head Star]

Love this thread!! If you can just keep Lady Star out of here........

P.S. Me thinks he is a male. Some lady! LOL

[Lady Star]

I suppose you guys may never know huh??

[Rick4404]

Originally Posted by The Head Star

Love this thread!! If you can just keep Lady Star out of here........

P.S. Me thinks he is a male. Some lady! LOL

I'm not going near that one.

[Lady Star]

Ah go ahead on......JUST TELL THE TRUTH OKAY???

[The Head Star]

You know ALL about the truth, don't you "Lady" Star??? So is Lady your first name & Star your last name??? TRUTH be told???

Originally Posted by Lady Star

Ah go ahead on......JUST TELL THE TRUTH OKAY???

[Rick4404]

Originally Posted by Lady Star

Ah go ahead on......JUST TELL THE TRUTH OKAY???

Well, I've always believed I have told the truth ... but okey dokey. No more clipping and pasting previously published articles.

This one's for you, kid.

I'm outta here. Time to watch the Cubs playoff game.

[Lady Star]

Wow!!!!!!!!!!

[Rick4404]

Originally Posted by HeritageLt

There are many many stories that staff have. I wish they would post them. I've tried to keep this thing alive hoping others would jump in. Don't understand why it is so hard to get them to post stuff. One of the funniest for me were the water balloon wars. Roger Flessing started them by throwing off the top of the WOC building. He would wait for Hardister to bring Bakker to the building and then the fun would begin. You can't believe how mad DH would get. And of course with RF that just fueled the fire. DH and JB started getting out of the car with umbrellas. I remember one day JB sent DH out to the car to retrieve something he had purposely left behind and he and RF let him have it from the top. He looked like a wet noodle and whipped puppy at the same time. The guys in TV were the worst and could get away with anything. They would often film their pranks and would show them during our once a year staff meeting.

So, Jim and Roger were obviously in on this one together. Thanks for the funny story. I've seen photos of Don dressed up in a three-piece suit, standing in close proximity to Jim. I get this picture in my mind of Don returning from the car and all of a sudden a barrage of water balloons descends from the sky and nails the guy. One question, did Don's suit get ruined?

[HeritageLt]

I didn't think I would post here again but after reading this article I just can't help myself. Will not however respond to negative posts. This is just meant in all good fun. On my job I have told a few of these stories (they are 100% true) and many of the people I work with have told me privately that these stories bring a different side to these people other than how they are sometimes portrayed in the media or by people who don't agree with them. All of these people are really bigger than life. Each so complicated. They had to be to hold the positions they held and to do the things they have done since. Here is a link to the article that so stirred me. http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/met...faye_1007.html The lady mentioned (Joyce Cordell) was to Tammy Faye what DH was to JB. Joyce was referred to by the executive security team as "Joycie". She was and is a very classy lady. She treated everyone with respect at all times. Never ever used her position in a negative way. Always put others first and her needs second. Except for once. I just had to take a 10 minute break to wipe the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. This is a true story. I think the year was 1984 or 85. We were in Washington DC for the Religious Broadcasters Convention. After the Convention we traveled to Huttonsville, West Virginia to a men's prison to give them a dish so they could get 24 hour Christian TV. We traveled by bus. Now one thing you gotta understand about DH is that he does NOT travel by bus. He would rent a car or whatever but he would not ride the bus. JB told DH that they would be riding the bus from the Convention Center to the airport. We had been broadcasting from the Convention Center so we had the whole crew including the band and singers. JB convinced DH that there were many reasons why we needed to ride the bus to the airport and it would only be a 15 minute ride. DH was a little off balance because JB's old assistant had left and he had a couple of guys trying to do the job and it was just a mess. This could not have happened otherwise. Anyway DH knows his way around DC so when the driver missed the turn DH thought he should take he goes up and starts challenging him. By this time everybody is cracking up because they realized that DH had been duped. He walked the isle for hours with that vein in his neck sticking out. Another thing that happened was when our friend BB Winans tried out the restroom on the bus. He forgot to lock the door and the driver put on brakes and threw BB out on the floor. That's a sight I would like to forget! Anyway back to Joycie. After Huttonsville J & T decide we are going to Snow Shoe West Virginia for a little R&R. Joycie was helping DH with J & T since JB's assistant had left and the other two guys were just making one mistake after another. Well on Saturday morning early Joycie decides she is going to leave early because she has a date with her future husband (Lawrence). Some of the staff had rented a vehicle and she was leaving with them. DH comes in from his 5 mile run to find Joycie in the lobby of the hotel all dressed and packed and ready to go. He's like, "what's up, we leaving?" Joycie is like "No, I'm leaving, you can take care of them by yourself. All heck breaks loose that escalates to DH on his knees begging Joycie to stay. She is having none of it. He begs harder. No good. The vehicle drives up to load everybody up. He begs even harder. No go. Her mind is set. She is going home to see Lawrence. She starts for the van. By this time DH is laying on the floor of the lobby with both hands on one of Joycie's ankles. No dice. She starts dragging him across the lobby with him pleading for her not to leave. She actually drug him all the way across the lobby of that hotel and out the door to the van. There were 3 or 4 of us watching this whole thing and I can tell you it was the funniest thing I ever saw. Joycie dragging DH across that hotel floor is a memory I will cherish forever. She was one classy lady and is doing very well. If any of you saw the New Jim Bakker Show with Paula White, Joycie and Lawrence are shown at the very end of the show talking to JB. I think she probably was working with Paula on the shoot she was doing.

[Rick4404]

Originally Posted by Lady Star

Wow!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Star is speechless? ... Write this date down in history folks. Saturday, October 13, 2007 at 10:50 p.m. Central Time. The day that Lady Star was at a loss for words!